Never far from His arms...

Boy, I knew I liked my home, but I almost cried when I finally mad it back yesterday. It has been quite an ordeal. To sleep in my own bed without being poked and woken every few hours, was like a dream. I just took a deep breath and said "Okay, now my new life begins... Day 1." I woke up this morning and was like... where do I start? I know everything hasn't changed, but it sure feels like it. You know when you are a healthy 31 year old, you just push your body. You don't think about it, if you are tired or what you eat or if you are doing too much... You just do what needs to be done. Now, I'm not so sure. The doctors said I could resume normal activity, but when I told him what my "normal" was like... he hesitated... "Well, maybe not quite that much, I wouldn't consider that normal." Where does that leave me? I have three kids to support, take care of and I work 60 hours a week. Kind of at a loss as to what I should do... God and I have been having many conversations about this! I completely trust His will, I'm just not sure what that is. I can't see past the dollar signs and bills right now. If I can't work as much as I want/need to, then what? That's what I keep asking God... and in His loving care for me, I hear Him reassuring me that He will provide as He always has, for my little family. So here I am again, completely dependent on God! Funny, how He never let's me stray that far from Him or His provision. I use to be all prideful because I couldn't provide everything for myself. You know today's culture says to be self-sufficient and do it for yourself -especially women! Women are to be strong, they are told they do not need a man/husband, that they can handle all that the world throws at them, as well as any men. HA! I beg to differ! What would I do without my Savior's covering over me.. protecting me from the world, from the attacks of Satan, from those who would persecute me for trusting in Him. I would surely be a wounded soldier, lying on the battle field alone, were it not for my Savior's protective arms all around me. So, even though in my humanness, I worry and wonder how? and why? and when?.... I know that my Lord has it all worked out - so I do worry less and wonder less and try to rest in His wisdom. I am not perfect, far, far, from the accolades that have been given to me by family and friends, "She's so strong, she has been through so much, she ...." Folks, all I have lived through is nothing compared to the sacrifice my Savior made for me on the cross. If my life brings a half rays of light to His glory - which it will not, because nothing I do could ever be close to His glory - than it would have been worth living a life 100 times harder than this. This life is so very brief... the trials and suffering are temporary... yet it is all for His glory!