Her Story - Part 1

I have yet to find a girl, who from a young age, has not dreamed of one day meeting her prince charming... her knight in shining armor... her rescuer from all things evil... her protector... her defender... the love of her life. Yet though we strive for such perfection in a sinful fallen world, rarely if ever few of us will find such a person. A person who complete us, a person who understands us, a person who is willing to look beyond our inadequacies with unconditional love. Nevertheless, we will try to find that person. If perchance, we are one of the fortunate one's, we might actually find more than one person with whom to share our life...either because of divorce or death. In either case, it is a welcome change of pace our lives have taken, to happen upon another soul mate. And I use that word sparingly, because I realize that the mere mention of the word will send many running and other's swooning.


Call it what you like... love is something we all wish to have, myself included. I was that little girl, sitting on her daddy's lap watching TV and wondering... how one day God would provide this same sense of security and provision through a husband. My father is a wise man and he would tell me the things I should look for in a future spouse... honesty, spirituality, integrity, kindness, love, etc. My dad modeled a great picture of Christ in how he took care of us, loved and provided for us. This set the stage for my thinking in adulthood. I had a good foundation from which to build.

As it would happen though, despite my good intentions and sure foundation, foolishness ruled my young heart. I made unwise choices of friends, companions and lovers. I even married one of those lovers, much to the dismay of my friends and family. I had embarked on a journey that would be pa see at best. All be it, I was immature, selfish, prideful, arrogant and unsubmissive... that marriage was doomed for failure. An eight year struggle over finances, control, parenting, pornography and infidelity led to an untimely divorce.

In walks the Lord... I knew the Lord was with me everyday and I did pray and grow in my relationship to Him. But I had never before been forced to depend on Him solely for my every need. I began to life out "Father to the Fatherless" verses. Upon my divorce, I found myself homeless, carless, moneyless, jobless and alone with a 6 month old, 1 1/2 year old and a 5 year old. God immediately began providing with a home, a car, jobs and much needed physical help through my personal and church family.

Over the next 5 years of singleness, my precious Lord guided me through difficult conversations with the kids, through financial decisions, through divorce issues with my ex-husband and through spiritual issues. It wasn't until my children were 3,4 and 8 that they began to notice our family was different. They realized that they didn't have a dad in their home and that I did not have a husband. They began to understand God's structure of the home and that we were missing pieces to the puzzle. So they asked me "Mom, why don't you just get another husband? We need a dad!" Hmmm...we laugh at such frankness and refreshing honesty from our children. They make it sound like I was just placing my order at the drive through and pick it up. So to them, what was I waiting for?

Well, God had me use this opportunity to teach them about decision making, prayer and petitioning to God and of course the all importance of patience! We had many discussions of God's sovereignty and how he provides in time of need. As a family we could literally write a book about God's provision for us. Yet we still seemed lacking in the area of an earthly father/husband. So we commenced to praying. We prayed at every meal, at every good night, the children were so bold as to ask for prayer about this issues in Sunday School and church. Now, talk about being humbled. Yet my children's frank and honest approach to praying for this request was refreshing. They knew God would send us a father/husband... so why not ask?

I, on the other hand, did plead with God for a mate, but with some trepidation. I had great fear in my heart of repeating my past mistakes, fear of being accepted for what I was, fear of not measuring up, fears that were just irrational. But God, in His love for me, gave me great faith and helped me to know how to pray. He gave me strength to live everyday... all the while I was praying diligently for a spouse. I vowed to not rush the Lord, but to wait on His timing and wisdom... two things I had thrown out the window the last time I was married. (To be continued....)

Walk Through the Valley

It has seemed that so much of my life has been a valley... have you experienced that? Valleys of trials that we all walk through as Christians? Valleys that we bring on ourselves from our own disobedience to God... Valleys that we didn't see coming because we were not focused enough on God to see the signs ahead... Valleys that we did see coming, but were powerless to do anything about... Valleys that God has providentially placed in our path, so that we would grow closer to Him... Just Valleys!

When I look back on my life I wonder "Why couldn't my life have been easy? Simple, uncomplicated?" Hmmm... no such luck for this woman. Parent's divorced when I was 16 years old, I rushed into a marriage at the young age of 18, divorced by the time I was 26 with three kids, an ex-husband who shirked his responsibilities, I have struggled to work, pay the bills, and raise the kids alone, been single now for 5 years, just lost the only job I really loved. Yes, having a valley moment about now! haha

I look at some of my friends from high school and they are still happily ever after, married - with 2.5 kids, suv's, houses, the whole nine yards. And here I sit in my valley! Just me and God!

But... how sweet this valley has been for me and my children! You know, there is nothing quite like a humbling experience of total dependency on God to grow your faith. Nothing quite like loosing your house through divorce/foreclosure, only to have God give you one through His providing hand... Nothing quite like not being able to pay the bills that week and coming out of church to find that God had someone place that exact amount in an envelope on the front seat of the car... Nothing quite like worrying if you are capable of raising your children alone and seeing 2 of 3 of them come to know the Lord and be baptized... Nothing quite like having 2 cars bite the dust and see God provide 2 better cars that were given to you! Nothing quite like struggling in loneliness from being single and having God give you your perfect soul mate, someone He has created just for you! Nothing quite like looking up out of that valley and seeing the mountain top just ahead and knowing that you are almost there! Nothing quite like, looking to your right and seeing your Lord and Savior, walking you out of that valley!

My brother's and sister's in Christ.... we will go through valleys, sometimes extended, sometimes brief. But, God has used these years of total dependence on Him to humble me, to soften me, to mold me, to teach me. Yes, it has been painful at times and hard - but how sweet to know that My God loves me enough to mold me - He loves me enough to walk through the valley with me - He loves me enough to walk me out - He loves me! What more can I say?

So, when you are walking through your valley... right now... or you can see it coming.... or maybe you are headed up the hill out of that valley... don't forget the precious times you had with the Lord. Hold His hand and let Him lead you on...

If You Want Me To By: Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus: Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear
You answer my cries for help I'll remember the suffering
Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness
If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan,
I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Fiber, Anyone?

This is a copy and paste from my old blog.... Because it has been soooooooooooo long (thanks donny for point that out EVERYTIME) since I have blogged anything new.... I decided to put this blog up for all my new friends to read. No, I do not still have this bread business, but I will be glad to bake a loaf for you anytime, just ask. And, yes, for all my out-of-state readers, I will gladly ship some to you! haha! I hope you enjoy!

Fiber, Anyone?

As I mentioned before, I began a bread baking company this summer. I am calling it "The Bread Lady." I use 100 % whole wheat flour. Big deal, you might say, however let me give you a little background. Once wheat is milled into flour the nutrients immediately begin to oxidize, thus causing the flour to be far less nutritious than when first milled. Within 72 hours, all but about 20% of the nutrients are gone - you're left with basically cardboard. Ever wonder why the "whole wheat" bread at the store taste like cardboard? Now you know why!

Anyway, with my flour being milled right in my kitchen and baked immediately, the nutrients are preserved, the taste is 100% better and you reap the benefits of awesome nutrition.One of the most amazing benefits of fresh ground whole wheat bread is the amount of fiber it contains. Combined with the nutrients naturally found in fresh flour, the fiber is more easily digested by the body and therefore absorbed into the intestines and produces a very "regular" system!

Yes, I'm talking about constipation! Like you don't have that problem! Honey, it is a huge problem, you just can't get away from that. Well, my family and I have been enjoying the benefits of a "regular" system for a while now, and every customer I have (in their own discreet way) has found a way to comment on their new found "regularity." It is completely amazing how happy people are when they are "regular."

Now for the fun part! We have (had) a Basset hound, named Sallie Mae. We were leaving on Tuesday night for VBS and it was pouring down rain. As we were leaving the dog darted in the door. Because it was raining, we were late already, the power had just out (need I continue?) I just let her stay inside. We returned several hours later to find her "happily" greeting us at the door. We immediately realized why she was so happy. There on the flour lay the tiny crumbs of what was left of a WHOLE LOAF of my cinnamon raisin bread (yes, the fresh ground whole wheat kind). Yes, my dog had somehow managed to get a loaf off the counter, out of a Wal-mart bag, out of the bread bag and eat the entire thing. So within a few hours she was "regular!" (twice in the house) Needless to say, she won't be coming in the house anytime soon! So, happy eating! And I hope you stay as "regular" as our whole family!

Home Sweet Home

Well, by the looks of my living/dining room, I am home and halfway unpacked! My washer and dryer don't believe me yet... still doing a weeks worth of laundry for 4 people. This could take a while. Nevertheless, we had a wonderful time; both my mother and I, oh and my children too. God was ever present on this trip, from the drive to and from Daytona and during our stay. My children were wonderfully behaved, yes, even Laura. She didn't get in serious trouble the whole week. I know you find that hard to believe, but it is true. She had her moments, don't get me wrong, we did have a few "come to Jesus" moments, but overall, she was great!

Before we left on the trip, I was developing some photos at Walmart using the little photo machine. Laura was with me and we were talking about how I was enhancing a few pictures (red eye, color, etc..) We came to a picture of her on graduation night and she was not smiling (she was in a mood that night and wouldn't smile). She said "Well mom, why can't you just enhance that picture and make me smile?" Oh I had to laugh! Of course I couldn't do that... but it did open a door of opportunity for me to talk with her about her attitudes. I shared with her how her bad attitude that night would forever be remembered by a picture and that she should be more careful how she acts. God sees and knows all our attitudes, even after we have forgotten. But through his grace and love for us, He forgives us when we ask and then He will never remember our sin. Maybe she will think about that the next time she starts to have an attitude.


We are off to our last soccer game of the season today! I am a little sad to see it all come to an end, yet having my Saturday's back will be very nice! I can't even remember what I used to do on Saturday before soccer? hmmm.....

Vacation

Well, we are off to Daytona Beach this morning. I guess I am excited. I think more or less, I am just tired from getting ready for vacation - I just want to sleep!!! haha! Maybe I can do that on the way down there. This vacation was made possible by my mother - God bless her soul! She and I have a very interesting relationship - definitely not the typical mother/daughter thing. God is using our relationship to teach me many things: self-sacrifice, patience, grace, mercy, patience, love beyond our faults, patience, did I say patience? I love my mother and am so thankful for her in my life. My own legalislm, immaturity, self-proclaimed rightness, has lead to many tumultuous years. God has seen fit that our relationship persevere through such inadequacies on my part. I have learned that I can love someone whom I don't necessarily agree with on every issue. I can graciously over look some things, and lovingly disagree with others and still have a love in my heart for them. It has taken many years of my own maturing, before our relationship has come to a semblance of normalcy. Although highly disfunctional, God has seen fit that we are mother and daughter - so I will trust His plan! Thank you mom for this wonderful vacation -I hope that we can be a blessing to you on this trip.

Sun and Fun
Here we come!

You Know You're Really A Mom When...

1.You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
2.You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
3. Your child throws up and you can catch it.
4.You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance. (I'm craft challenged)
5.You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching. (this would be JA)
6.You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats. (They get this honestly from their mother :-)
7.You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final.
8.You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
9.You read that the average-five-year old (and in my case, also a six-year-old) asks 437 questions a day and you feel proud that your kids are "above average."
10. You go to bed exhausted every night since their birth and willing get up and do it all over again...

Laura

I was doing Brain Quest Cards with Laura last night... they are math, language and life skill cards that have questions for kids. Not that my kids need to be any smarter! They keep me on my toes already... nevertheless, it helps me slow down and spend individual time with each of them, and they think it is great fun.

One of the questions on Laura's card was " In what country did Pizza originate? " She answers emphatically,"That's easy, Rincon!"

I love that my kids make me laugh!!